What family members need to know about alcohol addiction?

In 1842, President Abraham Lincoln, in a formal address to the nation, brought light to an issue often ignored by political figures. It was a simple statement, but if you are a parent, brother, sister or best buddy of someone who struggles with alcohol addiction, it has a much deeper meaning.  It goes like this...

“In my judgment such of us as have never fallen victims have been spared more by absence of appetite than from any mental or moral superiority over those who have. Indeed, I believe if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice-the demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and of generosity.” Abraham Lincoln, 1842

So, now we know alcohol addiction is nothing new and has been a family and social concern probably since the first vessel of grape juice in some ancient culture morphed into wine.  There is strong evidence that tendencies toward alcohol addiction run in families. How much of this is genetic, upbringing or a combination of both influences is debatable. There are many families that experience children becoming alcoholics when no alcohol abuse existed in the family unit.

You must, above all, communicate and communicate well. This is where the pressure begins but it is also the release valve. Most alcoholics, although they may deny their disease and hide it, want to talk about it and come out of hiding.  This is where a quality counselor can really help by educating the family on how to properly talk, and more importantly listen to an addict. There is an entire language, almost a verbal dance that occurs between families and addicts. You can chose to either move as a team, as one, or step on each others toes.

Education is the key to everyone’s success where alcohol addiction is involved. Using intellect and wisdom over raw emotion is the game plan. Again, counselors are terrific sources for books, movies, pamphlets and support groups that can be tremendous resources for the families of alcoholics. You are not alone, so don’t isolate yourself. Many drug rehab programs have made addiction and alcoholism information available.

You need to know that this will not be easy. You will feel tired, frightened, angry, betrayed and maybe you just don’t care anymore, which is your own self-defense mechanism kicking in. Of course you care and you will want to let your loved ones know that everyday. As much turmoil as you are going through, the addicted alcoholic is probably experiencing a magnification of emotion greater than your own. They use the alcohol to bury it making him/her appear as though they don’t care or have given up, however, the few minutes or hours of being sober can be a devilish nightmare for the one suffering from alcoholism, who self-implodes blaming themselves for all the problems in their personal and social circle.

No matter how you may feel today…”normal” is possible.

Alcohol and Alcoholism